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REASONABLE BOUNDS Chapter 60
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REASONABLE BOUNDS
Chapter 60

(MF, Mf, FF, ff, Ff, mult, cons, reluc, slave, humor, cheat, inc, mother, fath, dau,
  D/S, Mdom, span, lght, humil, group, orgy, harem, poly, WC, WM, WF, oral, exhib, toys, BBR, slow)

Written by Spacer X (paul_t_22@yahoo.com)

One worry I had about this dance hall or any other dance hall was the "sex bomb" factor. In short, there's no end of trouble one might face walking into a public place with one sex bomb, much less three. I had serious fears of some gorillas with bulging muscles trying to steal away one or more of my women.

I realized with a start, I'm already thinking of them as 'my women!' In fact, it's getting harder and harder for me to picture Shelle or Ruby with some boy rather than with me. And it's getting easier and easier to think of Cindy and Sue Ellen as being just as much mine as Mindy is. So much has happened in just the last 24 hours! But I can't get overly possessive. That way lies heartbreak, because I can't keep them forever.

Upon further reflection, the potential "gorilla" problem didn't bother me much. One thing I'd remembered about this hotel was that it catered to an older crowd, as it was located in the center of an area filled with retirement communities. Most of the guests were either senior citizens or family visiting senior citizens - not exactly the biker gang crowd. I was pretty confident we'd be okay.

As we walked into the dance hall, we found a mere seven people there. One was the "D. J.," but that term was a stretch. "Muzak selector" might have been a better fit. She sat in front of a keyboard, computer, soundboard, and some other equipment I didn't understand. Her main and seemingly only job was to take requests and probably get some tips in the process. Otherwise, she just sat around and watched people dance.

The dance hall was connected through a door to a bar, and from there one could walk on into the restaurant, or to the bathrooms. The restaurant was just closing, but the bar looked to stay open for a while, as there were some customers in it here and there (probably mostly bored and lonely travelers). The door to the bar swung open and closed as you passed through it.

I gathered my ladies together and told them that I should be the only one to walk into the bar. I didn't want any of the single men there to get curious over a beautiful lady and decide to wander into the dance hall. I also explained that if they needed to use the bathrooms, which were past the bar and through an empty lobby, just outside the closed restaurant, that they should walk out the main door to the dance hall first and come to the bathroom through a longer route, again to avoid drawing the interest of anyone at the bar.

That settled, I took a closer look at the other dancers. There were three couples there. Two couples were clearly senior citizens, or close to it. The last couple was younger, but looked harmless. The man, who was obviously the husband, could charitably be described as "pear-shaped."

Mindy whistled with mock appreciation. "Honey, you really pick the hoppin' happenin' spots. This place is ON FIRE! What are they playing, Benny Goodman? The Andrews Sisters? I don't know any of the artists from back then. I can't even make a joke about the song, because it is a joke. A lullaby would be livelier."

I replied, "Okay, so the music is some crap from the fifties, or maybe even the forties. And this place is deader than a doornail. But that's the beauty of the thing. I could have taken you to any of a dozen places that we've been to before and I know you like, but this isn't one of those kinds of nights. I wanna get a little crazy here. Look how dark it is. We can do what we want, and who's gonna stop us? The Human Pear over there? Or that guy? The Civil War veteran?"

Mindy laughed. "Good point. I hadn't looked at it that way. It's so small, though."

She had a point there. It was only about fifty feet by fifty feet, but at least it had a fairly high ceiling. I said, "If you want big, we're going to get all kinds of yahoos."

She nodded at that. "Well, then, what are we waiting for? This place looks like it could close at any minute, or maybe morph into a mortuary. Let's dance while we still can."

I led Mindy out to the dance floor and danced with her while Cindy and Ruby danced together.

The other couples looked at Cindy and Ruby a bit quizzically - perhaps they wondered if they were a lesbian couple. But nobody bothered us or said anything. And yes, it really was as dark as I'd remembered. If it had been any darker, people would have been constantly stumbling about and bumping into each other.

Mindy held me close, really close. After we'd been dancing for a minute or two, she purred in my ear, "Honey, I'm soooo happy. Do you remember our honeymoon?"

"That's a silly question. Of course I do! Like it was yesterday. There was a tragic lack of cock slaves at the time, but I suppose it couldn't be helped."

She laughed heartily. "Good one! Well, this last week or so, it's felt to me like we're having our second honeymoon. True, it's not just you and me in a Mexican hotel room, but it's similar in that I'm high on life all the time. And horny! I'm walking on air, just like when we were honeymooners. I can't tell you how happy it made me to watch Cindy and Ruby suck your cock the whole way here."

I wanted to ask her why on Earth that dual blowjob made HER so happy (it was no mystery why it made ME deliriously happy!), but I was too worried about some of the other dancers overhearing. Instead, I whispered, "Ssssh! People might hear."

"Whatever." But she lowered her voice. "I know they were sucking YOUR cock, but it made ME so giddy that I just might have enjoyed it more than you did! And I've gotta say I totally got off on giving them orders about how to do it, such as your marvelous ass smacks. I guess I'm weird. I like it when you get all aggressive and order me and the others around, but I also get off on ordering your cock slaves around myself. Does that make sense to you?"

"No, but can we please talk about it some other time? I'm getting nervous that someone like Pear Man will overhear."

She chuckled, and then kissed my cheek. She cuddled in closer as we danced and soared around the room.

When the song ended, I walked over to the D. J. She was young and fairly cute, and therefore seemed wildly out of place. As she started another ancient song that I'd never heard of before, I asked her, "So, what on Earth are you doing here?"

She eyed me suspiciously. "Excuse me, but do I know you?"

"No, I just mean that, before my group arrived, you were about fifty years younger than anyone else in the place. I take it this isn't your favorite job."

She frowned. "No, but it pays."

"I assume you have some funner gigs than this?"

"Yeah, but at least here I can get some reading done."

I leaned over and saw that she had a lamp next to her computer and it was shining down on a book. It looked big and seemed to be a college textbook. That fit, since she looked college-aged. "Ah. I see. ... Hey, I've got a question. How late does this place stay open?"

She looked up and around. "On a night like this? Midnight, or when the last person leaves. Whichever comes first." Seeing I was still curious, she added, "Ninety-nine percent of the time, we don't make it to midnight. People go to bed early around here."

"Ah. ... Hey, do you have any better music you can play?"

"I take requests. However, with those other dancers out there, I hope you don't ask for disco or something like that."

"No, I don't need that. But could you at least play some songs from the fifties and sixties that everybody knows? My group is practically half your audience now. Some ballads would be good. Slow Beatles tunes like 'And I Love Her' and 'Michelle,' plus classics like 'Earth Angel' and 'Love Me Tender.' I think the older crowd could live with that, don't you?"

"Yeah, I suppose." Even though I was talking to her, she appeared to be struggling to stay awake.

"I'm a really good tipper." I handed her a ten-dollar bill. "Here's something for starters. Oh, and my friends and I sometimes get a little wild. So if you see us doing anything we shouldn't be doing, please talk to me first before you do anything else, okay?"

She looked up at me and really examined me for the first time. Then she looked over at the women I was with, but the room was so dark that they appeared to be little more than female-shaped blobs. I think she decided that by "a little wild" I probably meant dipping a dancing partner lower than usual, and that I was harmless. "Okay, sure. Thanks for the tip." She went back to her book.

I figured that I more or less had my ass covered for a while, and we didn't have to worry about getting kicked out as long as I kept the girls from going too crazy. Walking back through the darkness, I saw that Mindy and Cindy were dancing together while Ruby was standing to the side, looking uncomfortable.

I immediately swept Ruby out onto the dance floor and started dancing with her.

"This place is weird," she grumbled as we danced closely together to the very slow tune. "And boring." I hoped that dancing with her would cheer her up, but she still seemed unhappy.

"It is, Red," I agreed. "Boring as hell. However, I think things are about to get a little more interesting."

Ruby's red dress not only showed a lot of cleavage, but it was cut even lower on the sides. So low, in fact, that I was able to pull her tightly up against my chest, and the hands that normally would have been resting on her back reached around her body as far as they could go until both were on the sides of her breasts, nearly to her nipples.

Her eyes lit up, and her winning smile returned. "Hmmm. Indeed. A LOT more interesting. But where's the King?"

"I don't know. Why don't you check? Unzip my fly and see if he wants to come out to play."

"No way! You'll let me do that?! HERE?!"

I nodded.

"COOL! Things definitely got a LOT more interesting!" She reached down and fumbled with my fly in the darkness. She commented, "I thought you were going to press him against me or something like that. Maybe even let me dirty dance and grind all over him. But I can really HOLD him?!"

"Sure, why not? Who's gonna know in this darkness? Just try to be subtle about it. Keep our bodies close together and keep one hand on my back."

She purred sexily as she grasped it and pulled it out, "How 'bout one hand on your ass?"

"Actually, no. That'll be ten times more noticeable to the other dancers than what you do to my dick."

"Darn. Okay. How's this?" She had my erection pressed up towards my stomach and was slowly sliding the fingers of one hand up and down it, while nervously looking around.

I was looking around too. Nobody cared. The Human Pear at least was showing he was heterosexual, since he was paying some attention to Cindy and Mindy instead of his wife, but neither he nor his wife had really even looked my way, partly because I was trying to dance away from them.

Ruby couldn't get over her excitement. "This is soooo cool! I can't wait to tell Michelle. OH! And Sue Ellen. Now, I have TWO breastest friends!"

I asked, "What does that mean, 'breastest friend?' You and Shelle have been joking about it off and on for a while now, but you've been using it a lot more lately."

The smile was wiped off her face, and she looked slightly ticked. "It's NOT a joke! It's essential to how we see ourselves. It's complicated. I don't think you're understand, because your head is as thick as your cock." She seemed unwilling to say more about it, at least for now. The smile returned to her face as she refocused on furtively jacking me off.

I soon realized that holding Ruby's breasts like a human brassiere after reaching all the way around her back first wasn't satisfying enough for me. I just didn't have long enough arms to grab enough tit. So I brought one hand down to her ass and the other up between us, slipping that hand through one side of her dress to fully cup the underside of one of her tits. That way, I could feel flesh on flesh, and pinch her nipple for good measure.

"Hey," she complained, even though she loved the treatment, "I thought you said ass play was too obvious."

"It is. But call it one of the perks of being the master. I'll take my chances."

"Mmmm." She molded her whole body against me. "I love you! I love belonging to you like this, with your strong, controlling hands. I wish you could take me right now and pop my cherry! Instead of me just holding and stroking your cock, imagine if it was sheathed in my hot, wet cunt!"

Her voice grew sexier and huskier with each new word. "Would you like that? Would you like to carry me around, my high heels a couple inches off the ground, as I'm held up by nothing but your great big cock?"

I hummed approvingly. The image was very tempting when I was all aroused like this, and my resolve to resist that temptation was weakening by the day. Hell, by the second!

Just then, the song came to an end. A new one started up, and I noticed it was "Earth Angel," one of the songs I'd requested. I didn't particularly love it, but at least I knew it and kind of liked it, and I figured it was "square" enough to be palatable to the Lawrence Welk lovers in the room.

Cindy came in close and said to me, "Excuse me, handsome stranger, may I have this dance?"

"Yes, you may," I said.

Ruby grumbled, "Drat. Just when the going was getting good!"

Cindy looked down, as the gap between Ruby and I widened, and saw my hand in her daughter's dress and Ruby's hand sliding up and down my shaft. She pretended to be a mildly surprised stranger. "Oh my! Mister, I'm not familiar with this kind of dancing. Is it popular around here?"

"Very," I replied. "Here, let me help you, ma'am. You put one hand on my lower back... Yes, like that. Then you put the other hand on my raging boner and stroke it up and down."

"Oh my! That's unusual," she said as she started to stroke my shaft in time to the music. "What do you call this dance?"

"Um, we call it... uh... The Jerk."

She smirked and giggled. "Ah, yes, 'The Jerk.' Good name."

Ruby said, "I'm gonna tell Mindy about this. 'The Jerk!' Ha! She'll just die!" She rushed off into the darkness.

Cindy and I were posed as if we were dancing VERY close, but she had yet to move to the music. Only her hand was sliding in time to the beat. I tried to get her started, but she stood stock still.

She whispered, "I can't believe I'm standing here, stroking your cock in a public place! This is so hot that I'm gonna die!" Her face was already burning red.

"Don't die, please. You might set off a chain reaction, looking at some of these old fogies around us. Just groove to the music. Come on, follow my lead."

"Well..." She was afraid. In fact, I could feel her hand trembling around my stiff pole. She'd lost some of her uninhibited wildness she'd been displaying during the photo shoot and earlier. Clearly, she worried that once we started moving around, what she was doing to me would be a lot more noticeable.

I told her, "Don't worry. As long as our bodies stay plastered together, no one can see what your hand is doing. Trust me. And that's an order."

"Yes... M... Dan."

I sensed she'd been on the verge of calling me "master," but then changed her mind. Somehow, even the thought that she'd considered calling me that thrilled me greatly.

She finally started to move her hips a little bit. We danced around to the slow song for a minute or so, moving our feet to new spots only occasionally. It was more of a swaying in place and holding your partner kind of thing, which was fine with me.

After awhile, she started to relax. I could tell she went from being frightened out of her mind about jacking me off in public to positively enjoying the stroking. She kept on blushing, but then again she blushed easily. I noticed Ruby hadn't blushed at all from doing basically the exact same thing.

In fact, soon she began to jack me off so vigorously that I had to warn her, "Watch out. You can keep your fingers moving without moving your arm. Right now, your arm is jerking in a really obvious way. Just stroke up and down my sweet spot with a couple of fingers."

She followed my suggestion. "How's this?"

"Better. Much better. Feels good."

"I still can't believe it, though! This is making me so hot that I'm really gonna die!"

"I already told you not to die. Now I'm making that an order. No dying on me!"

She laughed, and her whole body relaxed. She'd been pressed up against me tightly yet stiffly. Instead, her body melted into mine in a loving way. She purred with contentment. "You know what? I'm not gonna worry about what could happen, because my big strong man is here to protect me."

"That's right."

"With his big strong cock. I figure that if anyone gives us trouble, you can just use that to club 'em to death!"

I laughed. But I could tell she was still nervous, and her blush wasn't lessening at all. "Just relax. You're in good hands."

"And so are you!" She squeezed my erection to make her point, and then she chuckled. "But speaking of good hands, aren't you forgetting something? You're not playing with my tits."

"Oh, excuse me, madam, for my unforgivable rudeness. What happened to you being all worried?"

She looked around nervously, and whispered, "I'm still worried, but you're my master. I may not call you that all the time, but that's what you are. I'm your cock slave, and you'll take care of me. Besides, I love it when you play with my nipples so much that I don't care if we get caught!"

"I'd love to do just that. However, your dress, lovely though it is, is cut differently than Ruby's. I don't see an easy way that wouldn't be too obvious."

"Well, I'm sure you'll find a way." As she said that, she made a little dance motion with her shoulders and one of her shoulder straps started to fall down her arm. That exposed her nipple on one tit, and a good deal more besides.

I pulled her dress back up into place. "My God, are you crazy?"

She laughed. "No, just really, really, REALLY horny! Besides, how can you say that when you're having me stroke your cock as we dance?"

"That's 'cos nobody can see what's happening down there."

"Oh, well in that case..." She looked all around with some devilry on her mind. "You know my dress is really short. What would happen if I lifted it up like this?"

She lifted the hem of her blue dress up to her belly button and then brought it back down. Nobody could see what she'd done because she'd only pulled a little bit away from me for the few seconds needed to do that. The result was that my erection was pressing up against her bare lower stomach instead of against cloth! One side of her dress was raised slightly higher, draping over her wrist, because she still had her fingers tightly gripped around my shaft.

"Please don't stroke so much," I requested through clenched teeth. Things were suddenly getting dangerously arousing. "You know, if I cum, I'm gonna squirt all over your stomach and maybe even up to the undersides of your breasts, since your dress is so loose."

She laughed. "That's supposed to make me want to slow down instead of speed up? And as for my loose dress, that's all your fault. How was I to know that you'd strip the undies off all your slaves before we left? Look what happens when I pull away from your chest a little."

She did just that and put a little extra motion into moving her arms. That set her big breasts shaking just as surely as if they were a plate of Jell-O being tipped back and forth. .Her dress was so low-cut to begin with that not only was she frequently flashing nipple, but at any given moment one or both of her spongy orbs appeared on the verge of popping out of the dress altogether.

"Looks good to me," I said, so pleased with the sight that I didn't care about other people seeing as well. Well, didn't care much. "I have an idea though. Let's maneuver so that Ruby and Mindy are between us and the rest of the dancers."

"You're a total tit perv, you know. I have half a mind to smother your face in my boobs, while Ruby smothers your cock in hers, and Mindy, Michelle, and Sue Ellen oil theirs up and rub them all over your body for good measure! That'll teach you!"

I laughed. "Yep, that'll sure cure me of my evil ways. You really think that'll teach me?"

"Not really," she admitted with a frown. Her face brightened immediately, though. "But it sounds really HOT!"

Clearly, she was getting over her fear. Maybe even too much!

I laughed. "Cin, you're hilarious. I've gotta admit, you're way-"

I was interrupted by Mindy, who tapped me impatiently on the shoulder. "My turn," she said.

I looked around and realized the song was over and a new one was beginning. I also noticed that one of the two older couples had left.

But Cindy prodded me as she continued to stroke, "I'm way what?"

"Oh. You're way sexier than I ever imagined, before this all started. I knew you had a great fuckpot body, but I thought you might be kind of a cold fish. But you're hot-blooded for sure!"

She beamed, and explained, "That's 'cos I was always trying to keep my cool around you. I didn't want to tempt myself and have things get out of hand."

I pointedly looked down to where her hand was grasping my erection, and then arched an ironic eyebrow at her.

Undeterred, the corners of her lips curled up as she tried to suppress a smile, as her fingers worked my stiffness with a little extra vigor before things really "got out of hand" (or at least, out of her hand, anyway). She turned to an impatient Mindy and whispered something in her ear.

Then she handed me off to my wife and went to dance with Ruby. She and Mindy moved so quickly and smoothly that it was like one body replaced the other in a blink of an eye. I'd been concerned about my erection being exposed during the transition, but that wasn't even an issue. Somehow, Cindy's hand was gone, and Mindy's was wrapped around my pole instead. Mindy even managed to keep her dress up in the front enough for my erection to press against her bare skin, just like Cindy did.

But Cindy wasn't in a big hurry to leave, especially since Mindy and I were more standing in place and wiggling a little than really dancing. Remaining draped all over me, she said to Mindy, "Isn't he a living doll? He made me stroke his cock the whole time, and Ruby did too. He's such a beast!"

Mindy replied, "I'm telling you, just wait until you see him in one of his King Dong moods. He'll literally split you in two! He'll skewer your from your cunt to your throat!"

"I can't wait!" She squeezed my ass. "I'll be seeing you - and the King - later!" She finally pulled off me and walked away.

Mindy wasn't content with just jacking me off. As soon as Cindy was gone, she used her free hand to guide one of my hands to her lower back. She grinned and said, "Check this out. I wore this dress for a reason. You feel how it's completely backless and a bit loose to boot? Look what happens if you slide your hand down."

Her hand guided mine down her lower back, and suddenly I found I was clutching a bare ass cheek. I liked that a lot. I quickly brought my other hand around and did the same with her other ass cheek. This was probably blatantly obvious to the other dancers, but I was getting increasingly worked up and thus increasingly reckless.

Mindy said, "Aaaah! I feel totally naked! Between going without undies, your hands on my bare ass, and your cock in my hand and on my tummy, I might as well BE naked!"

I asked, "How do you think we look, though?"

She glanced around furtively. "Don't worry, no one can see. It's too dark, and why would anyone suspect? I wish I could see myself from my backside, though. I'll bet I could see every one of your fingers through my dress."

That gave her an idea. Since we were standing right next to Ruby and Cindy, as they did little more than hug and sway back and forth, Mindy leaned over towards them and said in a low voice, "Hey, girls, check out my ass."

Ruby and Cindy immediately danced their way right behind us.

Ruby gawked, and exclaimed, "Too cool! Damn, I wish I was wearing a dress like that!" She reached out and touched one of my hands on Mindy's ass, although Mindy's thin dress separated us.

"Hey!" I complained. "Don't you dare stick your hand in there too."

But Ruby said, "Who's gonna know? We're practically backed up to a wall, so no one can tell."

I looked around again and saw that was true. Somehow, we'd drifted away from the center of the dancing area and no one was within twenty feet of us. Because the air was misty or smoky, I could only see dark people-shaped blobs through the haze. I figured others could only see the same of us.

"Look, Mom. Look what's going on down here." Ruby lifted up Mindy's dress, completely exposing my ass-groping hands to the air.

That move really shocked me. Mindy's dress went below her knees, so Ruby had to pull up a LOT of fabric. I felt panicky, especially since the dress was staying hiked up. But then I forced myself to remember where we stood, and how dark the room was, as well as how far away everyone else was.

Cindy said, "Oooh, that's sexy! Is somebody wet?" She swiped her hand through Mindy's legs and kept them on her bare ass, just below mine, for some long moments. Cindy was still blushing and embarrassed, but bolder when she wasn't the center of sexy attention.

I could feel Mindy's body trembling all over, and I'm pretty sure she silently climaxed, because I had to hold her tighter just to keep her standing. The way she was clenching her teeth was also telling. However, somehow she managed to keep fondling my hot and needy boner.

Cindy brought her fingers up to her nose and sniffed. "Mmmm. Yum. Ruby, someone here is very juiced up."

"That would be me!" Ruby said happily.

Cindy chuckled. "No, I mean besides you and me. Mindy, you should see Dan's hands wandering all over your ass like big spiders. I assume you're still stroking his cock against your belly, using the fingers-pressing-into-the-frenulum move?"

My shameless blonde wife replied, "I am. That was a great idea, girl! Only now, since we're in a more private spot, I'm pretty much jacking him off with my whole fist!"

That was true - she really was going wild on my cum-soaked hard-on. I was getting so worked up that I cared less and less what the strangers here might think.

"Oooh, I gotta see that," Ruby said. She moved so she could try to see the action in the tight space between my wife and me. In so doing, she finally let Mindy's dress fall back down.

Cindy also moved to a better view of the space between me and my wife. She concluded, "You two are basically fucking standing up!" This seemed to alarm and arouse her in equal measure.

I saw a mischievous twinkle in my wife's eyes as she thought about that comment. "I don't like that word. 'Basically.'" She lifted up the front of her dress and pulled away from me by a few inches. I could feel my cockhead suddenly pressing against her at a different angle, and wetted at the top by her pussy lips. Then, while holding my shaft, she lifted herself up on one leg and came back down.

She let out a slow grunt as she impaled herself down on my erection!

HOLY SHIT! I can't believe it! Did she really just do that?! FUUUUCK, it feels so great! She did!

"Mindy!" I practically shouted. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"What does it feel like?" She smirked triumphantly.

I was panting hard and clenching my PC muscle like my life depended on it. "God, it feels good! ... But no. We can't!"

"We can!" she insisted. "Why not? What's the worst that could happen? They'll kick us out? So what? If someone gets upset and calls the police, we'll be long gone. Anyway, no one's gonna see. It just looks like we're snuggled up close. In fact, it's actually less obvious than when you were getting jacked off under my dress."

I meant to put up more of a fuss, but it felt too good. Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick! Fuck me! I'm a goner! What can I say? My wife has a pussy to die for and she knows it. So tiiiiight and hot! Besides, she has a point. This doesn't LOOK any worse that what we were doing already.

I ended up not saying a word in protest. I was too busy fighting the urge to cum. Luckily, an initial surge of panic and pleasure slowly dissipated and I was able to recover my breath and my sanity. My heart still raced a mile a minute though.

Mindy is a couple of inches shorter than me, like basically all "my" women. But since she was wearing some moderate heels, we were almost exactly eye to eye. That also meant that our groins lined up just right to be able to fuck while standing.

I poked my wife in the chest about an inch above her nipple, which was also about an inch above the top of her dress. I watched my finger sink into her spongy tit-flesh. "Min, don't move! Don't say a word! And whatever you do, do NOT grind my dick to a pulp with that squeezy trick you do so well! I'm too close! If I feel any more stimulation of any kind, I'm gonna blow my nut right into you!"

Mindy waited some long moments, while lightly swaying to the music. Then she asked, "Girls, did you hear that?"

Ruby and Cindy were right behind Mindy. I was too distracted to even notice until now.

Cindy stopped dancing with Ruby and placed her hands on Mindy's shoulders and put her head right next to Mindy's. "We heard every word! I can't see too well here, but I can still hear. Is he really filling you up?!"

"Is he ever!" Mindy exclaimed breathlessly.

Ruby gushed, "I'm fucking SWOONING! I'm creaming! By fucking you, it's like he's fucking me too! I'm gonna lose my hymen just from my thoughts!"

Mindy giggled gleefully. "Don't do that! And I'm not allowed to say too much about it. But I do just have to say that I've been fucked by this incredibly handsome and kind husband of mine countless thousands of times, and I STILL never get used to how fuckin' FAT his cock is! Every time, it's like my pussy says, 'Oh no! Not THAT thing! That won't fit in here! Have mercy on me!' But she opens really wide as he spears it on in, and then she screams, 'YES! This is perfect! This is what I was made for!"

Ruby commented, "WOW! It's kind of like taking the King in my mouth, I'll bet! I know I've only been doing it a little while, but I just know that it's something you never get used to. I'm sure that, years from now, I'll be sucking Daddy's cock for like the ten-thousandth time - under the table wearing nothing but my slave collar while he eats breakfast - and I'll still be thinking, 'Damn! This thing is so big and wide; how the hell do I manage to get his entire fat doorknob in my mouth so many times a day?'"

"Exactly!" Mindy replied excitedly. "But at the same time, years from now, when you start sucking on it, and you joyously unleash your tongue to-"

I interrupted, panting, "Um, Sweetheart, what happened to the no sexy talking?" I thought I would go cross-eyed from the struggle to hold my orgasm back.

Mindy laughed. "He seems to think that filling my cunt up with his creamy seed is a bad thing somehow! Honey, you have no idea how hard it is for me not to grind my hips and squeeze my cunt so you could fill me up good. My insides need a serious sperm bath! But I'm trying to be good, I really am."

Cindy was draped all over Mindy's backside now. I suppose from the perspective of the two other dancing couples it looked like she was a friend leaning in close to make some small talk, and thus it was no big deal. That was especially true since our dance moves were just a tad more energetic than swaying in place.

But appearances were deceiving. Cindy had turned us so that she was using Mindy and me as a shield from the other dancers, while Ruby stood nearby, probably feeling a bit left out. My hands were still inside Mindy's dress and directly clutching her ass cheeks. I was squeezing those cheeks damn hard because I was using her as a handhold while I struggled not to cum.

So far, so good. That much I could just manage to deal with.

Then Cindy lifted up Mindy's dress way up, uncovering all of her ass again, and pressed her own body against it. I could feel Cindy's wet pussy pressing down on the back of my left hand, grinding against my knuckles just above Mindy's ass.

Cindy said, "You know what sucks? Being a cock slave and never even getting dicked by your master. Not even once!"

I laughed. "Cin, you've been a cock slave for all of what, two hours?" I was starting to come down from my close call, thanks to my wife actually staying still for once. I breathed a big sigh of relief.

Still, I thought, She's got a great point! Cindy needs to be fucked! Unlike the Hellions, there's nothing stopping me. I'm going to fuck her tonight, that's for sure! I've been wanting to do that for YEARS!

Mindy quietly warned me, "Why don't you say 'cock slave' a little louder, so everyone can hear you?"

I figured the music would cover what I'd said, but I dropped my voice just to be on the safe side. "Oops, but it's true. Cin, I'm amazed. You're taking to your role like a duck to water."

"It's not really a very complicated job, is it?" Cindy replied huskily as she slid her drooling pussy roughly over my knuckles. "Four simple rules, and I love 'em all. Besides, I'm having the best day of my life, by far! Hey Ruby, don't just stand there. Dan's back side is looking sadly neglected."

Ruby was happy to hear that. She walked behind me and enveloped me in a bear hug. This would look even more suspicious to anyone else in the room, but by now we were pretty much beyond caring.

Cindy said to her daughter, "You know, Mindy SAYS she's getting fucked right now, but I don't believe it. I say we find the proof for ourselves with our hands."

Ruby brought her hands around to my front side. One hand shot straight down and felt the juncture of where my shaft was stretching open Mindy's pussy lips. I felt her thumb and forefinger wrap around the base of my cock. She whispered almost reverently, "Wooooow! So that's what it's like! The real deal! Once he gets over his little boyfriend snit, I'll have him in me there nearly as much as my mouth! God, I think I'm gonna cum again!"

She gave the few remaining inches of my shaft a few short strokes, making it that much harder for me to keep from cumming. I was more aroused by the fact that my daughter was jacking me off while I was impaled in my wife than the actual physical sensation. Her other hand kind of got lost along the way and fished its way down into Mindy's top, cupping a bare breast.

She said back to Cindy, "You know, Mom, I think we should just get wilder and wilder and see just how far we can go before they kick us out! Let's get totally wild all over our master's cherry-popping cock!"

"Ruby, you're brilliant!" Cindy replied. Her pussy was still churning over the backs of my hands, but her arms enveloped Mindy and snaked down to my shaft too.

I have no idea how I managed to last as long as I did. I think fear of cumming in a public place was a big factor. But when Cindy's hands found my balls and started hefting them and tugging on them, I'd had all I could take. Ironically, my sex-mad wife was still behaving, and it was everything else that was too much for me.

"I'm cumming!" I hissed quietly, praying the strangers in the room were still oblivious. Four people clumped together like this had to look suspicious, even if only seen as a big blob from across the room.

Mindy brought a hand up to her mouth and tried to cover it. Her eyes were shut tight and she looked incredibly pained as she struggled not to scream out.

I didn't see what happened after that though, because I too was forced to shut my eyes and fight with all my might not to yell at the top of my lungs.

However, I heard Ruby's voice coming from right next to my left ear, as she scraped her enormous boobs up and down my back and continued to hold onto the juncture between me and my wife. She quietly urged, "Do it, Daddy! Nail her! Flood her cunt! Knock her up! Squirt that master Daddy sperm in her!"

I'll tell you, I don't know if it's possible to actually die of orgasmic overstimulation, but I came awfully close right then, especially with Ruby's "Knock her up" comment coming out of left field and surprising the hell out of me. I hoped she didn't really want me to sire any more children at my age.

Our four bodies seemed fused to each other in one big group hug-fuck, and that turned out to be a good thing, because I think Cindy and Ruby's supporting arms prevented Mindy and me from completely collapsing onto the floor. My legs were like jelly. This would have been a "screamer" orgasm for me, if I'd only been allowed to scream. Mindy must have felt the same way.

As the orgasmic wave passed, I found myself still standing there with three busty knockouts draped all over me and panting hard. My dick was still fully sheathed in Mindy, although the overworked guy was starting to go soft, and Cindy's hands were still working my balls.

Wow! Amazing! I know I said I wanted to get wild, but I can't believe we just did THAT! And the fact that we did it in public made everything twice as intense. We may even get away with it too. Did anyone see?! I looked all around as I regained some awareness of my surroundings.

I was just in time to see the Human Pear and his similarly lumpy wife walk out the door we'd come in. I could only see their backs so I had no idea what kind of mood they were in as they left. Are they pissed off? Did we cause them to leave? Or is it just coincidence?

I couldn't tell, although it was pretty hard to see how they could have missed our four-body fuck grope.

What happened to the other couple, the remaining older one? I looked all around and didn't see any signs of them in the dark haze. Phew! Well, that's a relief. Are we all alone? Sweet! Now we can REALLY get wild!

However, as I finished scanning the room, I did still see the D. J. through the darkness. Her head appeared to be pointed down, and I hoped that meant she was still busy reading her book. It concerned me that I could see as much detail as I could from this distance, because that meant she could see the same.

I said to the others, "Okay, that was... I don't know what that was. But we've got to watch out! Did you see that the last of the other couples just left? They could be going to complain to the management! We need to get presentable, and fast!"

We untangled ourselves. I pulled my soaked, flaccid dick out of my wife, with a loud schlorping POP that I knew from experience was damn well unavoidable, and then tucked the King back into my slacks.

Mindy kissed me briefly on the lips. "I love you, Honey! That was so great. Our best fuck in hours!" She laughed at that. "I'm just bummed the others left."

"Why?"

"I wanted to blow their minds. I was hoping to dance up to the younger couple with you fully impaled in me and ask them for the time.. for starters." She grinned impishly.

I laughed. "You're evil! But hey, where's your bag?" She hadn't brought her purse in, nor had the two others brought theirs, but she did bring a special small bag to help with sexual cleaning emergencies. It was most of the same stuff she'd used to clean up the car with: air freshener, moist towelettes, spare panties, and the like. When I'd taken a peek I'd noticed condoms in there too, which was telling since I never used them with her.

I could hear her sniffing the air, which was thick with the smell of sex, at least right around us. "Oh yeah. The bag. I'd better use the air freshener. We really sexed this place up."

As she walked to the table where she'd left the bag, I looked between Cindy and Ruby and asked, "Which of you is more presentable? ... In other words, which of you isn't dripping pussy juice down to your knees?"

Ruby stepped forward. "That would be me," she said, sounding grumpy and dejected. "I found the whole thing hotter than the heart of a supernova, but I missed having a hand in most of the action."

"Sorry. I'll make it up to you. Now, please go to the D. J. and see if she's suspicious. Give her a big tip. Oh, and since we're the only ones left here, we can FINALLY have some decent songs. So let her know some good ones, but stick with ballads, 'cos I'm liking this slow dancing."

"Okay," Ruby replied. Then she smiled. "So you call it 'slow dancing,' huh? I prefer calling it 'doing the nasty.'" She giggled. "I'll be happy to 'slow dance' with you next!"

"Red, chill. There's gonna be actual dancing from here on in. That's why we need to make requests.

"Very well. Do you have any faves?"

"Um, how 'bout 'The Sea of Love' by the Honeydrippers?"

Mindy was back with us with her air freshener and towels, and she and the others laughed.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Just that name," Mindy explained. "I think we're all honey drippers tonight."

"That's making me so horny!" Ruby said. "I wanna drip a lot more honey, AND get a big honey injection straight from the bee hive. Daddy, can you fuck me next?"

"First off, no. Remember how you have to date boys? Second, don't use the 'D' word in public, not after you were just fondling my erection as I fed it into my wife. And third, why are you still standing here? Another lousy song just started."

"Oops." She wandered the twenty or so feet to the D. J. booth.

I shook my head in amazement. I face Mindy and Cindy as I said, "I still can't believe that just happened. Sweetheart, we've fucked in some exciting places, but nothing like this. You tricked me! But the irony is that I was hoisted by my own petard, since I was the one who started the sexual shenanigans."

The two beauties covered their mouths and tried to hold back, but when I was done speaking they burst into uproarious laughter.

"What?" I didn't get it.

Cindy finally managed to calm down enough to explain, "It's just that you said 'hoisted by my own petard!' After you just skish-ka-bobed your wife with your jumbo-sized petard!"

I had a good laugh as I caught on. "Okay, maybe not the best choice of words!"

Mindy kept on laughing a little longer, she was so amused. I was glad because I figured she otherwise would be making lots of "petard" jokes at my expense.

I remembered the bar next door, and I was feeling thirsty. So I took drink orders from Cindy and Mindy. Then, after checking my body and especially my crotch for any noticeable wet spots, I went to the D. J. booth to find out what she wanted to drink too.

Ruby said as I walked up, "Oh, good. I just realized that I don't have any money to give to Cynthia here, seeing as I don't have any pockets."

I walked up to the D. J., whose name apparently was Cynthia, and fished my wallet out. I handed her a twenty. "Here. I'll give you more as the evening goes on. I realize you'd probably be packing up right now if it weren't for us, and I appreciate it."

"No problem," Cynthia said as she took the money. "It's my job." She paused, and then looked at me critically, studying my face. "Um, it's probably not any of my business, but I thought I just saw all three of your friends hugging you, um, intimately. Are they your um... your..."

Ruby stood ramrod straight, thrusting her chest out. She proudly announced, "Yep, we're his lovers. All three of us. I hope that doesn't shock you."

"RuuuUUUUuuuby!" I groused. "You don't go telling strangers that!"

Cynthia said in a surprisingly unfazed manner, "It's okay. I pretty much knew that already. I couldn't see everything from here, but I saw enough."

"I hope that's not a problem," I said with worry. "We get pretty, um, affectionate with each other."

Cynthia waved her hand dismissively. "That's cool. Believe me, in my other D. J. jobs, I see all kinds of stuff. You should have seen what it was like at this one rave two weeks ago." Then she perked up, seeming to show genuine interest. "But, um... I know this is kind of personal, but... I'm so curious that I can't help myself. How exactly are you, er, connected?"

I was glad, because if Cynthia had noticed we were actually fucking, I'm sure her reaction would have been different.

Ruby shot me a look that basically asked, "Can I handle this? I can do better than last time."

So I gave her a subtle nod.

Ruby looked back to where Cindy and Mindy were standing. "You see the busty woman with the long blonde hair? She's his wife. The other redhead and me, we're two of his mistresses."

"TWO OF?!" Cynthia said, shocked. She was intensely interested in us now.

"Um..." Ruby started to say, looking like she wanted to backtrack.

"I think you've stepped in it enough," I said to Ruby. I turned back to Cynthia. "She exaggerates. Let's just say that we all have fun together, and my wife fully approves."

Cynthia could see it was a sensitive subject, and merely asked, "Which one's your wife? They're both extremely busty, so that doesn't help, and I can't see hair color from here."

"That would be the one on your right," I explained, as I pointed to my wife. Turning back to Cynthia, I said, "Look, this isn't going to be a problem, is it? You're not going to kick us out or anything like that, are you?"

"Are you kidding me?" Cynthia replied with a smile. "This is the first interesting thing I've seen at this job in, well... basically ever."

She looked over Ruby head to toe with something approaching awe. As she gawked at Ruby's massive yet perfectly shaped rack, she said, "I've just gotta say though that you're one lucky man!"

"I know." I smiled. "I'm so lucky that it's not even funny. I have to warn you though, we do get pretty... affectionate. Like I said earlier, if we do anything too out of hand, please just let us know and we'll stop right away."

She nodded.

I felt pretty great. Cynthia was a looker, a pretty college girl in her physical prime, but compared to my jaw-dropping Ruby she was uglier than Quasimodo. I almost wanted to bring Cindy and Mindy to where I stood, so Cynthia could get a good look at them too and be even more floored. Maybe later.

I took Ruby's drink order and walked to the bar. I also stopped by the men's room to take a leak. I was glad to see the bar was really dead too, with just two people in there watching television.

Walking back to the dance hall, I briefly conferred with Ruby before meeting the others. I handed her her drink. It was a Shirley Temple since she wasn't of legal age yet. I could have gotten her something alcoholic, but it turned me on to give her this instead. I guess it reminded me of how young she was. Age-wise, she really was "barely legal."

I asked her confidentially, "Did you discuss Cynthia with the others yet?"

"Nope, I just got back from talking to Cynthia myself."

"Good. Don't." I didn't want Cindy or Mindy to know just how cool Cynthia was about the whole situation. If they were more afraid, they'd be more aroused too. Plus, they'd be less likely to do something totally crazy.

"Okay, but I have to confess: Cynthia kept asking me questions and I tried not to say much, but somehow all our names slipped out. And I complimented Cynthia on her name, saying how I liked it and that it was almost like my mom's. I think she put two and two together."

I pondered that. It would be pretty hard not to connect those dots, especially once she saw how much alike Ruby and Cindy looked.

She added, "So she knows you're regularly boning a mother-daughter combo."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out," I said with mild sarcasm.

"Although you need to add some actual boning to the boning, if you know what I mean, hint, hint."

I ignored the hint. "Oh well. In the future, please be more careful about what you say though, okay? Here it's not so bad, since we're far from home and won't be seeing her again, so I don't mind too much, but still."

"Sure. Sorry. It's just that I'm so proud and excited! I wanna tell everybody in the world that I'm my Daddy's sex toy! One of 'em, which is even better! I know I can't, but I still wanna, if you know what I mean. And the more you dominate us, the more I wanna tell everybody! Like the way you just nailed Mindy. That was soooo cool! It makes me so proud to be your personal property! But don't worry, my lips are sealed."

She brought a hand up to her face and pretended to zip her lips shut.

I joked, "That's too bad your lips are sealed. I was just thinking I could use a nice blowjob."

"Zzzziiiiiip!" She brought her hand back across her lips, pretending to unzip them. Her tongue flickered out, like a snake tongue searching for something to eat.

"Sorry, just kidding."

"Awww! You can't tease me like that! Now my mind's gonna be fixated on thoughts of your fat cock plunging deeper and deeper down my throat as my tongue and lips desperately battle to get you to squirt out your yummy jets of hot cum!"

"Sorry, but we'll have fun. And once I put these drinks down, let's do some actual dancing."

"Grrr. You're a... what's the word for it, the opposite of a cocktease? You're a tongue tease. You're leaving my cock-hungry tongue and lips all needy for you-know-who's you-know-what." She poked me playfully in the chest several times to emphasize her words.

The music was definitely better now. "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton was just finishing up, and "Every Breath You Take" by the Police was starting.

Since I liked that one, I quickly handed drinks to Cindy and Mindy and put mine down on a table. Ruby followed me and put her drink down as well.

As soon as I got within talking distance of my wife, she said with an amused smirk, "Look who's back. It's Captain Petard!"

I had a good at laugh, since I got the "Captain Pickard" of Star Trek reference combined with my misguided "hoisted by my own petard" comment.

The other laughed too, and then Ruby quipped, "Awww, Mindy, that joke was petarded."

That led to more laughter. Mindy said with chagrin, "Bummer. You beat me to that one."

I took Ruby's hand and said, "Come on, Red. Let's get out of here before they start thinking about 'hoist' jokes too.

Cindy pretended distress. "Dan, you can't leave now! Not after you just made my pussy hoist!"

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. I pulled Ruby out to the dance floor, out of joking range.

As I took my flaming red haired beauty in my arms, she yanked the top front of her dress down so her bare tits were spilling out.

"Ruby!" I started to complain. I looked down at her immense globes, and just like that, my dick started to engorge again! I couldn't believe it. The danger of public exposure seemed to do something extra to me.

She pointed out, quietly, "My dress still looks the same in the back. And besides, who's gonna know except for Cynthia, and she's cool. Also, you owe me big time for being a tongue tease."

"You don't like that, huh?"

"I love it! I actually love it when you deny me. Not all the time, but some of the time. It reminds me who the master is, and who's just one of your many cock slaves."

I honestly couldn't even begin to understand her attitude. I asked, "Um, can you not use words like 'master' and 'cock slave' in public?"

She laughed. "Let me get this straight: it's okay that I'm dancing with you topless, and you just fucked Mindy in this very room, but I can't say a couple of harmless words?" She sensed my dick growing stiff and was already rubbing sensuously against it.

"You're not really dancing topless," I pointed out, feeling a bit foolish by her comment. "You just pulled the front of your dress down some, and between the darkness and the way our bodies are pressed together, who could tell?"

"Good point. Maybe some other things need to come out for some air, for the very same reasons. Let's see... What's our good friend Mr. King up to these days?" She was busy unzipping me and fishing out my still stiffening dick as she spoke. Once she did that, she pulled up her dress to her belly button and it somehow stayed up by itself. (I later found out Mindy's bag of supplies also had some safety pins in it.)

Holding my erection as it finished reaching maximum size, she pressed it up against her stomach. "Remember when you were doing this to me not that many days ago?" she said quietly. "And remember by the front door, how you kissed me and rubbed your great big cock all over me with Michelle right there?"

Boy, did I ever remember and enjoy that! The memory inspired me to French kiss Ruby for a while as she rubbed her bare tits into me and stroked my erection,. My hot pole remained pressed against her skin just above her pussy. I realized I needed to be careful that she wouldn't try to fuck me standing like I'd just done with Mindy.

I looked over and saw Cindy and Mindy in each other's arms. They were pretending to dance with each other, but really they were just coming over to scope us out.

Closely examining the space between Ruby and myself, Mindy said to my dance partner, "Nice work!"

"Thanks!" Ruby replied proudly. "I'm having a ball hoisting my hand up and down Captain Petard here." She giggled.

"I feel inspired," Cindy said as she pulled the top of her dress down in the same way Ruby did, so her bare breasts were spilling out.

The problem was, Ruby was pressed closely against me, but Cindy bared herself in the open!

My heart started racing much faster. I looked around frantically through the dark haze to see if anyone could see. But the only one in possible range was our D. J. Cynthia.

Then Mindy said "Me too," making security matters that much worse. Except, since her dress was backless, there wasn't much point in keeping her dress up at all. She let the straps fall down her shoulders and the fabric in front fall all the way to her waist.

My heart raced even faster while I just gawked. I felt like we'd done some wild things so far, but they were things that had a very low chance of being noticed. Whereas now they were throwing caution to the wind because they were just that hot and bothered.

My borderline insane wife winked at me, "Don't worry. I met Cynthia a couple of minutes ago when I was requesting some songs. She knows I'm your wife, so I think she'll cut me some slack."

"Look," I complained to Mindy incredulously. "You and Cin can't just stand there topless! You need to cover up! I can't believe the D. J. won't mind, but even so, what if someone comes in?"

Cindy and Mindy began urgently whispering to each other. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I saw Mindy shake her head no a couple of times.

Then they stopped whispering and started rubbing their bare racks together in a very obvious and erotic manner, making sure to do it in such a position that I'd have a good view. If I danced a little away from them, they'd quickly follow.

"What are you doing?!" was all I could manage to ask.

Mindy calmly replied, "I'm teaching Cindy the importance of teamwork. Remember Rule Number Three: 'Share the cock.' Ruby's the lucky slut jacking you off, so we want to help with visual inspiration."

I closed my eyes and whimpered helplessly. They were still putting on a titty show and I couldn't bear to watch. "Don't help so much! Please!"

Mindy pretended not to hear me. "Honey, you really like it when two of your cock slaves rub their big tits together, don't you? That really turns you on."

Cindy said, "Point of clarification, Min. Are you formally a cock slave, or wife, or what?"

I listened closely, because this confused me too. That distracted me from the heart-pounding fear of getting caught, for a little while anyway.

"I'm the wife, of course, with all the benefits of Rule Number Four. 'Wives get first dibs.' But I also consider myself to be an honorary cock slave too. I doubt I'll be willing to go through the full ritual, or wear his collar in public, or his leash in private, but I just love saying my hubby has five cock slaves."

She pointedly looked down at Ruby's sliding fingers on my boner at me as she kept talking. Then she resumed eye contact with me. "I've talked it over with the girls, and they're okay with me being a de facto cock slave in spirit, even though I don't have full slave status in practice. Is that okay with you, Honey?"

I just nodded, completely blown away and insanely aroused yet again. I seriously wondered what my wife was talking about when she said "the full ritual" or talked about wearing my collar or leash. I had a sinking feeling it was something she'd talked over with the Gruesome Twosome, at least. Maybe they even figured that all out months ago as part of their planning and scheming. But I was actually a bit afraid to ask. I'd had too many shocks lately to seek out new ones.

Mindy smiled, then leaned forward and kissed me, even as she looked down and got a good look at Ruby stroking my erection with one hand. "Thanks, dear," she said to me. "I knew you'd understand. It feels good to be part of a team."

"We are a team!" Ruby said happily. "High-five for the five!" She held up her non-stroking hand.

I chuckled and shook my head as my three topless women all high-fived each other. "You're weird."

Ruby suddenly pulled about six inches away from me. "Check this out, everybody!" She changed the angle of my erection and started rubbing it up and down her pussy lips, while still holding and guiding it with her hand. "I know, I know," she quickly pointed out. "He hasn't decided to properly dick me yet. But he can still do this, can't he?"

"Of course, he can," Mindy said, "but damn, girl, what you're doing is so obvious. When you were close, nobody could really tell what was going on, but now... Jesus! Even I'm starting to worry. And look! Cynthia is definitely looking up and looking this way!"

Oh shit! Things are spinning totally out of control! This wasn't part of my evening plan. But I'm too horny to really put my foot down!

Cindy pointed out, "Even in this poor light, I'll bet she can see the silhouette of Dan's erection, not to mention Ruby's unfettered bosom bouncing! We need to get in the way and block her view!"

"It's too late!" Mindy wailed with worry. "She's seen! And if you and I get too close to her, she'll see our little topless tit mashing party too!"

I was glad to see that Mindy was joining me in feeling concerned. I was helpless with Ruby simultaneously jacking me off and rubbing my cock against her pussy mound, but I suggested to my wife, "Why don't you pull your top back up?"

She giggled, and replied, "I'm worried, but not THAT worried! At least, not until a man comes in." However, even as she said that, she and Cindy both pulled their tops back up to at least nominally cover their nipples.

Furthermore, they danced their way around Ruby and me until they were blocking Cynthia's view of us "dancing" (which was more like us standing still with Ruby playing with my cock).

Mindy joked about her repositioning, "This brings a whole new meaning to the term 'cock block.'"

I looked around and confirmed again that we were all alone, except for the D. J., who I could barely see through the dark haze. But I nonetheless thought, I'm so fucked. The girls are out of control, and my wife is the chief enabler. Tonight is gonna end in disaster!

NOTE: Thanks to the suggestions and corrections of IBT, Billo, gmbusman, Wayac, Yellow Peril, PrincelyGuy, Johnny Galt, Ecchi Spud, and Xinunar, and the reformatting of Sam.I.am.

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